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Posts in Truth, Mindset and Motivation category.
Motivation to Weave Happiness Into Your Life

Life is a tapestry and each event is a thread in that tapestry, sometimes the threads will unravel, sometimes they will pull tight, but when you make one small positive change in one area,  it will have an effect on the other areas – mentally, emotionally, socially, physically, environmentally and spiritually and make the most beautiful tapestry you have ever seen. It’s a very complex tapestry, but the imperfections are what make it perfect).

So let’s explore some motivations for happiness and change to make your life tapestry a wonderful one…

None of us can deny that change is hard.

It’s important to acknowledge that, so when you start kind of hitting that wall going yeah I thought I wanted to do this but um no this is exhausting you have something to look back at or something to keep you going and moving forward.

What does happiness look like to you?

That is the first question we need to ask ourselves.

Because it’s important to know this, so when you get there you can say ”yes, I achieved my goal”.

Imagine this scenario…

You are depressed and go to see a counselor and they want to treat you and you tell them that you are depressed and your goal is not to be depressed anymore.

What does that look like?

What does not being depressed look like, feel like?

How is the counselor going to know when your depression is gone so they can terminate treatment?

When you start defining what happiness looks like, then a goal begins to form.

We’re not gonna be happy all the time that’s life, life is not a hundred percent giddiness, so emotionally I will be happy 85% of the time or 95 percent of the time and look for other emotions too.

For example, aim to be more compassionate you’ll be maybe more loving.

Ask yourself what emotions do you want to feel more of and if you need some help – find an emotion worksheet online or even go to something like Facebook where they have all the little emoticons and go through what they have identified for different feelings and identify the ones you want to feel more of excited that’s one or maybe curious, I like that.

When you are anxious or depressed you feel it physically.  You’re exhausted, you may have tummy troubles, you may have headaches, you may have muscle tension.

So let’s flip that when you’re physically happy and healthy what is that going to feel like?

When I’m happy, I am energetic I’m able to help other people I’m ‘fill in the blank’ and my relationships will improve when I am happy how does it show?

Maybe you’ll spend more time with your kids, maybe you’ll be more patient.

What is that going to look like for you?

Get the goal out here that you’re working towards.

Realistically, you’re not going to achieve it overnight.  You’re probably not going to achieve it in a month or two months or even three months.

You will need to give yourself time and pace it. If you are clinically depressed right now it’s gonna take you a little bit longer because you need to start getting your energy back to start getting that mojo back a little bit.

Progress is not perfect so you want to be a little bit better tomorrow than you were today and recognize like I said life is not a hundred percent giddy stuff.

You’re going to have bad days even when you’re happy.

You’re going to have bad days, so if you’re making steady progress and you have a bad day one day just accept it as it is.

This is gonna be that bad day for you.  Don’t dwell on it, just figure out what you can do to improve the next moment and get back on track.

I know that’s easier said than done once you put all that out there you may look at what you where you’re starting and where you want to go and think oh my gosh I got a lot of work to do.

It can seem overwhelming, it doesn’t have to be.

Break it down into small steps

We want to break it down into small steps, so don’t look at six months from now, don’t look at three months from now.

You know we set that goal out there so we knew kind of where we were going, but think about it like a trip and we’re going to imagine that you’re going to hike across the country so you’re not gonna get from Virginia to California in a week, but you need to know that you’re going to California.

You kind of know which way to start heading, now we want to figure out today how far am I gonna walk and what is my path for today that keeps me heading toward California and how much can I get accomplished today.

We consider all the factors like if it’s supposed to rain,  whether you’re gonna have to walk on back roads to avoid interstates or whatever the case may be, but every day is going to have its unique path and its unique challenges.

You want to keep in mind your ultimate goal of getting to California, but remember that each day is going to be a little bit different so to keep your motivation because some days you’re gonna wake up and you’re gonna think California is a really long way away and happiness may seem almost out of reach at some points.

So it’s important for you to go back to your motivation.

Determine for yourself emotionally how can I stay motivated, how can I stay excited and happy and curious about what today holds and about what I can accomplish for today.

Make it a game if that does it for you.

I’m really competitive, so emotionally I keep myself going by making a game out of it.

Making sure I do a little bit more today, than I did yesterday or a little bit better today than I did yesterday if I’m doing something with someone else we may have competitions.

What is it that makes you happy?

How can you stay excited about your goals?

Let’s say you are trying to improve your nutrition.  You may not always be happy about that so what are some ways you can get happy about it?

You could learn new recipes.

I learned a great recipe the other day for where basically you dehydrate slices of zucchini to use for noodles instead of noodles so that increased my creativity and my excitement to try it and figure out if I get my kids to eat it.

Find whatever works for you mentally.

  • What are your sources of motivation?
  • What is it that makes you want to do this?
  • What are all the logical reasons you want to do this?
  • What are all the logical reasons you need to do this physically?
  • What are your sources of motivation?
  • Is it going to help you feel better?
  • Is it going to help you look better?
  • Is it going to help you live longer?
  • Is it going to help you have more energy?
  • What do you expect to get out of this?
  • How can you keep your motivation going?
  • Physically getting enough sleep is one of them, but what else keeps you going?

Let’s stick with the nutrition example, if you’re trying to improve your nutrition, as part of your recovery program, physically you may still want to occasionally have that taste of chocolate or chocolates my thing, so I work in brownies and I make a great black bean brownie by the way.

But anyhow I tell you don’t necessarily even have to make it a healthy treat you can indulge every once in a while, so making sure that you have those treats and those rewards out there for you that are going to help you feel better physically and not deprived and keep your motivation going because if you feel deprived you’re probably not going to stay motivated for very long.

Socially is one of the greatest sources and motivation for some people.

If you tell someone then you’re a little bit more accountable to them.

Try to buddy up with someone so you share the same goal then you’re going to keep yourself keep each other on track a little bit more.

Find cheerleaders, but be your own best cheerleader don’t rely on somebody to be your cheerleader.

To get your butt to do whatever it is to be your own best cheerleader and it feels a little weird sometimes, but remember to just kind of coach yourself be your own best coach.

People use financial motivation, because if they hire a coach or a trainer or a therapist, they are paying somebody then that keeps their motivation going because they don’t want to feel like they’re throwing money away.

Environmentally,  here is another thing area that’s ripe for helping you stay motivated.

What can you put in your environment to keep you motivated to working towards happiness?

Number one, try to create an environment that’s relaxing and happy.

The first step is to get rid of all the depressing stuff and try to have things on your walls and around that make you smile whatever that is for you.

Open the windows to get plenty of daylight.

Put things in your environment to remind you to do the tasks that are on your recovery plan.

So create reminders in your cell phone, keep a list of reasons that you want to keep doing this.

Put information on your mobile device so you can refer to it occasionally.

Put things in your environment that remind you why it’s important to keep doing this even when the going gets tough.

Other places you can put reminders are on your bathroom mirror.

A lot of times we do something called habituation and you get used to it being there, so you need to change where your sticky notes are but put sticky notes out occasionally and change where they are to remind you of all the reasons that living happier is a priority for you.

If one of the reasons, for example, is to be more emotionally available for your kids you can have a little album of pictures of your children on your mobile device that you can look at every day, or maybe have it as your screensaver, so it reminds you every time you open your phone that this is why I’m doing this.

Happiness is your end goal and change is difficult and your motivation is gonna sometimes get low.

Think about all those people who make New Year’s resolutions – January 1st they are in the gym, January 2nd they’re in the gym, January 3rd, and then about half of them are in the gym by the end of January.

Most people have dropped off because it got painful and life got in the way.

Happiness has to be a priority and you have to stay motivated to do those things that are going to make you happy, which means keeping your motivation up.

When you start not wanting to do it figure out why you don’t want to do it and address that by identifying and reviewing your reasons or motivations for change.  This will keep you heading in a positive direction so all the stuff that we just talked about write it down let’s go back to that for a second so your sources of motivation – all the things that are the reasons that you want to change.

Keep those reasons on a sheet of paper or six! Maybe you have lots of reasons you want to change and that way you can review it when you start feeling like you no it’s not worth the effort.

You can also keep a journal or a log if you’re not a journal type of person of the progress that you make –  just like if you go on a diet or start trying to change your nutrition you keep a food journal or a weight journal keep a journal of your happiness, so you see that you’re making progress.

You not be deliriously happy in three weeks, but are you a little bit happier, a little bit more into the goal of recovery?

Happiness is about progress not perfection.

Remember that you’re never going to be deliriously happy a hundred percent of the time, so figuring out how to deal with those unhappy moments is part of the recovery process.

Right now what I want you to focus on is identifying what you do that makes you feel better now even if just for an hour and start doing that more often so you can start getting the energy to make the changes you need to be happier more often.

These are the baby steps to a happier you.

Good luck <3

What’s Your Value?

Just a quick post, whilst I write up a more extensive post on goal setting, as I thought these five questions would be a good starting point to think about goals.

Think about what V.A.L.U.E you can add to the world…

It’s a useful acronym to remember…

Vision: What do you see?

Achieve: What is that thing you want most?

Learn: How will you grow?

Understand: What will you begin to understand about your life unfolding?

Experience: What has your experience taught you and can it help others?

Start looking at your life through the V.A.L.U.E. lens…

And ask yourself questions like…

  • What is the value I am bringing to every day, every week, every month?
  • Whatโ€™s my vision?
  • Have I achieved what I intended to do?
  • Have I learned?
  • Did I truly understand that lesson?
  • Can others learn from this experience I just had?

Just a little teaser, while I compile a nice big goal setting post for you.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Hope it gets the thought buds tingling.

How to Overcome Challenges in Life and Get Self-Motivation to Succeed

We have all probably been through some challenges in our lives and many of us will be going through some great challenges right now.

We’ve all had those moments when we feel lost, scared, angry, sad, betrayed or maybe even felt our whole world was crumbling down.

We feel that we hit rock bottom or that we have lost everything we believed in, everything we loved or worked hard for.

Don’t we all go through these moments?

What’s interesting about life is that it’s through those challenges that we grow and become stronger and better.

How we react to challenges is what defines us.

It separates the people who go on and achieve great things no matter what and let nothing stop them and the people who just give up when obstacles come their way.

We all have challenges, obstacles, roadblocks, down moments. That’s life.

It’s never a straight road to our goals and dreams. And those challenges are usually a message from the universe that there is something we need to change.

We need to find that message in the challenge and move on to create something better.

What I learned in life is that our lowest moments can be our biggest advantage if at that low moment we make a powerful decision to change.

The challenge can give you a strong reason to push and the motivation we need to move to a much better place or we can let it destroy us completely.

I remember some of my biggest challenges. It was always a message that the universe was giving me to move on from something that wasn’t serving me.

And those very low moments became my greatest strength.

Every single time they moved me to a much better place.

As Steve Jobs said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.”

But we need to keep moving forward and trust that the dots will connect.

If everything is easy in our life, if everything is given to us, there is no challenge and no motivation to grow.

And we might ask ourselves, why can’t life be easier for me like all these other people?

But it’s never about being easy. It’s about how we react to our circumstances and what decisions we make when challenges appear.

You are the only person who can make a decision to turn your lowest moments into your greatest advantage.

Remember that stars can’t shine without the darkness. It’s in our darkest moments that we can really know the power of deciding to be the light not only in our life but in the lives of everyone around us.

So don’t let your challenges pull you down!

Let them be the fuel to push you higher. ..

CHANGE YOUR LIFE – Motivation for 2019

I’m not able to change your life, but you certainly are.

And I have found that it’s ideas that literally change everything in our life.

In life, you should only ever be doing one of two things…

ONE:

Figuring out what you’re most passionate about to find your dream in life.

TWO:

Realizing those passions and realizing those dreams.

And the first one is much harder than the second one if you know what you want to do.

If you figure it out, you can commit your entire life to do it, and you’ll either get really close or you’ll die trying.

So this is what I would challenge you…

Look inside of yourself see what you really want.

Where do your passions lie?

I want to tell this young man, or woman. That the only way you’re ever going to get to the other side of this journey is you have got to suffer, to grow and to grow, you must suffer.

You can become the kind of person that is so in tune with the values that you have and what you actually want that when feelings rise up.

You can choose to act.

However, you want.

Even if you’re tired, you still go to the gym, even if you’re annoyed, with your spouse, you can still speak in a manner that’s loving.

Even you don’t feel like doing that hard work. You can still push yourself to do it.

Your feelings are a choice and your behavior and your thoughts are always a choice.Think on this..

Several people live to be a hundred years old. They have great lives they have great kids. The kids go to college and all sort stuff.

But somewhere in their life, there was a point where they had a decision to make.

They can go left or right on this path.

Left was the easy route, right was a hard route.

If you take the easy route, you can have a good life that way.

But the better life is going to be taking the right route. And you may have twenty years of pain and suffering get past it, so a lot of us never to start our journey, but the satisfaction from choosing the hard path is unquestionably more satisfying.

Many people are suffering from battle fatigue.

They’ve been standing a long time trying to break the addiction.

Trying for the promotion, praying for that family member, but has it happened yet.

They never dreamed.

They’d still be single.

Still be dealing with the illness.

Still be trying to get the loan.

Now they’re tired.

Let me encourage you, your time is coming.

Your due season is on the way.

Don’t let time talk you out of it.

Don’t let discouragement cause you to give up.

Don’t let negative thoughts convince you to settle where you are.

You were born to succeed, to win, to conquer all difficulties and to live to your full potential.

What is the only thing that stands between you and everything you’ve ever wanted to do?

You have to trust your own voice. Your own ideas, your honesty, your vulnerability and through this myth find your way.

You do not have to be fearless. Just don’t let fear stop you.

Live like this as best you can and I guarantee you will look back on a life well-lived.

You are capable of greatness in your profession and more importantly and your quality of self.

Stay hungry.

Stay young at heart.

Take those risks.

You are going to change the world around you in big ways and small.

Just Do it ๐Ÿ™‚

If we want to go somewhere, you got to do it. One of the great secrets in life to become successful. With into the business, whether it’s working with someone or for someone or your personal life is ‘be prepared in life for a lot of rejection’.

Because if we’re prepared for all the rejection that comes, we don’t get turned off or disappointed, like I’m not gonna do this anymore.

Like this, we’re more willing to take risks. We’re more willing to experiment which requires failure.

We’re more willing to explore and go somewhere with that no one has ever gone before with the confidence.

You need to start making the choice…

Make the decision that life is too short to suffer.

Are waiting to be picked by someone?

Are you making the most of your life?

All you need to know to change is…

A. You’re never going to feel like it.

You’re never going to feel ready. You’re never going to feel ready to have that hard conversation. You’re never going to feel like getting out of bed. You’re never going to feel like it’s a good idea to apply for that promotion. We’re designed to stay comfortable and safe. So you know that you’re A. never going to feel like it and

B. There is no one coming.

It’s up to you. You’re not a kid anymore. I have some bad habits. All my habits are not great, so if you’ve got some bad habits don’t feel bad, so does your next-door neighbor.

So does your mentor, your coach, so does your mother and father, sister and brother.

So does everyone and the trick of life is to replace a bad habit with a good habit.

Make up your mind.

You’re going to do it every day every day every day. Until you don’t have to think about it and then go automatically do it.

I guarantee you this idea will change your life.

Think about it all day. Because that is definitely an idea that will give you results that will stick.

No matter who you are, no matter where you are in life. If you’re not excited about waking up in the morning, or if you’re sitting around bored out of your mind.

If you’ve got time to do everything, anybody asks you to do. You probably got the lid on.

If when you tell your dreams to all your friends. It makes sense to them. You got your lid on!

Your dreams should be should not make sense to everybody.

You got to say something that makes people go. ‘How are you going to do that?’

That’s when you got to leave the lid off, and if I were you, I’d do that. I take the lid off.

It’s not always going to be easy, there are going to be challenges. There are still going to be curve balls.

I have to continue to get outside myself because when you’re uncomfortable, that’s the only way you’re going to grow. Right?

So the only way to become successful is going towards the truth as painful as brutal as it is.

It is changing me. I am in the process of being who I want to be.

To do this you have to face your fears to become the person you want to be.

You run from your fears. You’re not living you’re alive, but you’re not living.

When the days are running you, you always be the servant, never the master.

We all fall down in life.

The question is who gets back up?

Again, it’s not the potential of the individuals, it’s not the genetics, it’s the perseverance – the Never-Say-Die.

If you constantly keep throwing shit against the wall, eventually something will stick

Never give in what you want.

Only you can make it happen.

Why Playing It SAFE is killing you…

Let’s get to today’s advice…

…Playing it safe is destructive.

The longer you wait, the longer you hesitate, the longer you sit on the fence and analyze and get ready to get ready, the worse it is for you.

Every single one of us is a unique snowflake that has been gifted with talents and medicine that can only be gifted from you.

When you sit on the fence and think about whether you’re going to get hurt, or not, you are robbing not just yourself, but all of us.

It all comes from overanalyzing and I know it because I’ve done it for the longest of times.   It is this idea of trying to get it right and if right has ever existed.

Right and wrong are mental constructs that are made up…

Right in England may be wrong in Scotland.

Right for the Republicans will be different from the Democrats.

Right for me, maybe wrong for you.

This idea of right and wrong does not exist and it is based on and built on false pretense that there is some going to be some kind of security…

Guys, there is no security.

Everything in the world is always changing, always moving and for those of you who are just graduating from college or figuring out that the job market doesn’t work the way it used to.

The security of a degree, the security of a job for 30 years no longer exists.

The best thing you could ever do it get off the fence and jump!

Stop playing it safe and you know what I mean, so if you are in let’s say a new relationship, when you’re dating someone and you find that the person is so beautiful and so fun and you want to give it your all,  but you also fear that  if you give your heart they will break it or vice versa.

You think what if I put everything in and it doesn’t work?

Stop the What if, what if and more what ifs…

But guys it’s not about the product it’s about the process. It’s about who you become on the way.

It’s about the scrapes and the falls.

It’s about the profane and the profound.

It’s about the juice of life whether it be bitter or sweet.

It’s about being in the game.

So many of us sit on the sidelines and wait while we try to figure it out and we analyze and we analyze.

we sit there and we want to have the safest little plan and make sure that we’ll never be hurt, or hurt anyone.

Pain is a part of life.

Sadness is a part of life.

Anger is a part of life.

Stop trying to sidestep what’s there and get in the game and see what you’re made of.

Some of you guys, I’m sure you can relate to this when it comes to relationships, have you ever dated someone that you thought this is my one?

You thought this is going to work out forever and we’re going to ride off into the sunset and we’re gonna make out and we love each other all the time, right?

And then what happens in a  few months, or in a few weeks?

Something came up and it ended,  but if you really take a look you may find that that was one of the biggest and best gifts you ever had, because you were in that relationship and you weren’t playing it safe…

You got to see what it felt like to be in the dance.

You got to learn patience.

You got to learn where you’re being triggered and what you need to work on to move to the next level to prepare yourself for your one, but you’ll never find that out if you’re sitting on the sidelines playing it safe.

From my heart to yours, please please give us your gift.

Stop waiting.

Tomorrow is not promised.

The day you read this, thousands of people did not wake up from their sleep.

Give your gift

Live,  love,  give love,  be loved. 
And start from right now

*Adapted from a video in the creative commons by Preston Smiles entitled PLAYING it SAFE might be killing you – PROCRASTINATION cure.*